In Mexico my name is Esteban. Not Stephen. Not Steve. Not Estephen. It is Esteban. I don't even think about it any more. Whether it's the pastor at the church or the smelly kid that crawls in my lap... "me llamo Esteban"
My roommate down here ran me out. Well not exactly, but that's what everyone tells me. "Te corrió!" And although I have to stick up for him and say that there was more to it than that, he technically ran me out... In the nicest way possible. (No need to worry I'm just living right next door)
I suppose my fellow Americans are nice. The conversation is going great until they just have to ask that question... "So you already graduated college?" The rest of the conversation is set in stone. Always goes the same. I put away my high school dream of getting a tattoo until recently... I have already started designing one for my forehead that reads "NO I DID NOT GRADUATE COLLEGE please refer to my blog for all further questions"
For the past few months I have been wondering what is happening to me... what is happening in my life. Like spiderman after that first time he was bitten by the spider. I guess he wasn't spiderman yet. I always knew God was doing something but didn't know what it was or where He was taking me or why. I falter for words when people ask. But I think I am starting to get it. And I just smile.
My roommate ran me out not because we didn't get along. Rather, this happened because God wanted to tell me that this is who I am. A run off. Not by individuals, but by a system of thinking and a way of life. People don't keep asking me about college because that's what you typically ask a young man my age. Rather, this happens because God wants to tell me that I don't belong there. I didn't start introducing myself as Esteban because I thought it was a cool name or because I thought it would be easier for Mexicans to pronounce. This happened because God wanted to tell me that He is giving me a new name. A new life. A new adventure.
He is preparing me for something special. I want to say I am ready but the truth is that I lack so much faith.
¡Ponme, pues, a prueba,
Que no te hallarás en mí maldad alguna!
Salmos 17:3
Tienes mas fe que yo y la mayoria de la gente. Que Dios te bendiga y que te muestre la senda que debes seguir. Dios nos dijo que somos creaciones nuevas, pues, si es una procesa que toma tiempo.
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Padre Celestial la fuerza y alentar el corazón de Esteban. Dale audacia y seguridad. Continuar su trabajo. En el nombre de Jesucristo, Amén.
ReplyDeleteProud of you, Esteban! Papa Loco is reading a book about Saint Francis of Assici (he was just telling me about it today)& you HAVE to read it when you get home! You may feel alone, but you are in excellent company. Also, speaking of books and excellence - you need to write one. You are unbelievably insightful & share so effortlessly; straight from the heart. I love it. I have learned much from you and am so incredibly inspired by your strength, courage, and unwavering devotion. Love you, miss you, proud of you, and praying that you will continue to follow the path that God has set before you - like a crash of rhinos. ;)
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