Apparently, God didn't understand what I meant when I said I was ready to battle. I should have specified... So long as you put a hedge around me God, and protect me from evil. I guess that would have been too easy.
Instead, I decided to get sick the night before I left home. I was delayed going to Tijuana and had to find a place to stay in San Diego for a few days. Had some problems finding a place to say. More arguments with family. Feelings of rejection. Lonliness. I would like to say that the trials have stopped since I arrived in Tijuana... Pshh.
Um God... I think I would like to be an archer in the next battle? Ya know... So I can shoot arrows from a very safe distance and still get in on some action...
The sad part isn't that I must face hardships. The sad part is that something told me the goodness of the Lord couldn't be obtained by those in the midst of trials. I had to take them on alone. More hoops I had to jump through for God.
I went to the Rock church in San Diego where the pastor talked about Jacob wrestling with God. I love that story. During the sermon I felt God asking me, "Why aren't you wrestling with me?" I imagine God wrestling with his kids on the floor, letting them feel His power, and teaching them how to use the power that He graciously bestows on all of them through the Spirit. I bet He loves that.
The Light is not at the end of the tunnel... He lives. His kingdom has come to earth. His Spirit dwells in the hearts of all who follow Him. Therefore, Let's approach His throne in confidence. Maybe even wrestle a bit.
Overall, I have loved being in Tijuana. In particular, hanging out at the orphanage around the corner. Amazing the way children can speak right to your heart. Life is beautiful.
If you are reading this please pray for my health, my spanish, that language would not be a barrier, strength in trials, and courage to proclaim the name of Jesus with my words and actions. Dios te bendiga
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
ya es hora de batallar
The LORD is a Warrior; the LORD is His name.
Exodus 15:3
Tomorrow, May 2nd, 2011, I leave for Tijuana, Mexico. I wish I could say I was jumping out of my seat in excitement, but I don't get excited anymore, because every day, every season, every chapter in our lives is a gift from God. Whether I am here in poe dunk Eastanollee GA (which I do love) or in the slums of mexico, I know I am there for a reason, that God is still working on me, carrying me to completion. Loving me.
Yesterday, I was at James and Natalie's wedding and I remember standing up there with the other groomsmen just listening to the ceremony, and I started thinking about Mexico. I started feeling like I didn't belong at that wedding, For whatever reason, the wedding seemed so... surreal? Don't get me wrong, the wedding was absolutely beautiful, everyone had a great time including myself, the people were great, the food was great, and all in all it was an amazing time. But I guess that is just the thing.
I saw some ad about the royal wedding on some website, and the title read "Britain believes in fairy tales after all!" (Exclamation point added by me because it's corny.) Marriage? Fairy Tales? Really? Have all the worlds problems been solved because some guy who they call a "Prince" married some commoner lady? Is that the solution to stop the sex traficking in Atlanta? Is it the cure for cancer? Will people in Africa have food now? Perhaps it will rid all the pain that many spouses experience within their own marriages? Maybe not, but for a few hours on Friday, billions of people across the globe could watch, forget, and pretend that evil simply didn't exist.
I do believe in fairy tales in the sense that they encapsulate what is good and beautiful in life. I still watch disney movies because they speak to my heart in a language that couldn't be written in words. However, fairy tales, when taken alongside reality, should be used to appreciate life. For many people, fairy tales are just another drug to help escape it.
This is the reality that we live in: Jesus Christ hase come to earth to "bring Good News to the poor... to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free." He was raised, announcing freedom from sin and death along with new life to all who call upon His name. He lives, and His kingdom has arrived here on earth, reclaiming what is His, and advancing with His army of angels against the dominion of darkness. A mighty fortress is our God. However, evil still reigns. The flock has been scattered. The news seems to show us that each day is worse than the day before. However, "Now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation." The story is epic.
I am a warrior. And until the battle is over I will not put down my sword. Standing up there with those groomsmen, enjoying a glass or two of champagne (ok fine I think it was three or four), fixing my tie in the mirror, feasting and dancing... I felt like a warrior that was back at home celebrating while the rest of the army was off at battle. There is nothing wrong with weddings, they are wonderful! And certainly we can all enjoy a time of celebration every once and a while. My problem is just that... mine.
The minister said to James, "Just as Jesus will one day go to receive His bride, James, you may now go to receive yours." I was proud of James. It takes a man to commit to one woman and love her well the rest of his life. And we all look forward to the ultimate fairy tale ending when Jesus will come forth for us. Until then, we fight.
Tijuana here I come!
Exodus 15:3
Tomorrow, May 2nd, 2011, I leave for Tijuana, Mexico. I wish I could say I was jumping out of my seat in excitement, but I don't get excited anymore, because every day, every season, every chapter in our lives is a gift from God. Whether I am here in poe dunk Eastanollee GA (which I do love) or in the slums of mexico, I know I am there for a reason, that God is still working on me, carrying me to completion. Loving me.
Yesterday, I was at James and Natalie's wedding and I remember standing up there with the other groomsmen just listening to the ceremony, and I started thinking about Mexico. I started feeling like I didn't belong at that wedding, For whatever reason, the wedding seemed so... surreal? Don't get me wrong, the wedding was absolutely beautiful, everyone had a great time including myself, the people were great, the food was great, and all in all it was an amazing time. But I guess that is just the thing.
I saw some ad about the royal wedding on some website, and the title read "Britain believes in fairy tales after all!" (Exclamation point added by me because it's corny.) Marriage? Fairy Tales? Really? Have all the worlds problems been solved because some guy who they call a "Prince" married some commoner lady? Is that the solution to stop the sex traficking in Atlanta? Is it the cure for cancer? Will people in Africa have food now? Perhaps it will rid all the pain that many spouses experience within their own marriages? Maybe not, but for a few hours on Friday, billions of people across the globe could watch, forget, and pretend that evil simply didn't exist.
I do believe in fairy tales in the sense that they encapsulate what is good and beautiful in life. I still watch disney movies because they speak to my heart in a language that couldn't be written in words. However, fairy tales, when taken alongside reality, should be used to appreciate life. For many people, fairy tales are just another drug to help escape it.
This is the reality that we live in: Jesus Christ hase come to earth to "bring Good News to the poor... to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free." He was raised, announcing freedom from sin and death along with new life to all who call upon His name. He lives, and His kingdom has arrived here on earth, reclaiming what is His, and advancing with His army of angels against the dominion of darkness. A mighty fortress is our God. However, evil still reigns. The flock has been scattered. The news seems to show us that each day is worse than the day before. However, "Now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation." The story is epic.
I am a warrior. And until the battle is over I will not put down my sword. Standing up there with those groomsmen, enjoying a glass or two of champagne (ok fine I think it was three or four), fixing my tie in the mirror, feasting and dancing... I felt like a warrior that was back at home celebrating while the rest of the army was off at battle. There is nothing wrong with weddings, they are wonderful! And certainly we can all enjoy a time of celebration every once and a while. My problem is just that... mine.
The minister said to James, "Just as Jesus will one day go to receive His bride, James, you may now go to receive yours." I was proud of James. It takes a man to commit to one woman and love her well the rest of his life. And we all look forward to the ultimate fairy tale ending when Jesus will come forth for us. Until then, we fight.
Tijuana here I come!
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