I think I have been mislead in my thinking. Somewhere along the way I got this idea in my head that the road would be a glorious one. I imagine the calvary returning from battle, the horses prancing, the flags flying high. Big celebrations. Victory after victory after victory. But that just aint the way it goes. Not for me. Not for Jesus when He was on this earth. Paul. John the Baptist. Disciples.
For the past two weeks I have hit more than my share of red lights. I come around a corner and the light is green. I step on the gas because I know it is coming. But it still gets me. yellow. red. stuck. I have considered that maybe sitting at this many red lights is usual in Atlanta, and that maybe I had just forgotten since I wasn't living here for a few years. But no. That's impossible. I told my little sister Jayde before she got in the car with me that I am going to catch every red light. and I just about did. Ask her. Though most information online says they are all automatic, and nobody controls them anymore, I am not satisfied with that answer. Something is up.
I don't think I ever set out thinking that it would be an easy road. Nor were my intentions ever do enjoy the victories and celebrations, or to be glorified in any way. But then things start getting hard. You start hitting some red lights. Things don't go smooth. Your body aches and your heart is heavy. And followed closely behind is the prince of lies, claiming once again that God is holding out on you.
Bad news: Saturday I had to work. Good news: There was no Traffic, and I hit mostly green lights!! Thay actually turned green FOR ME!! It might sound wierd but I felt God's presence after that first light turned green for me. and He didn't even have to say it. Because I already knew what He was thinking. This is how life is. Sometimes they are green. And sometimes they are red. I consider that Saturday morning a special little blessing, because the lights have returned to normal since then... red. That's just where I am right now.
I am currently working with a framer/carpenter in Atlanta. I have been doing a lot of carrying lumber and cleanup, but also making some cuts and firing that nail gun from time to time. The days are hard and long, and I come home dirty, smelly, and beat up. I am on the bottom of the totem pole, but I have a job, I have direction, a purpose, and a God who hasn't forgotten about me. I am right where I need to be.
I know who I am. Stephen K Glover. Esteban. I am a dirty muddy fragile pot of clay. Nothing that great on the outside. The greatest gift on the inside. And God continues to show me my cross. and I must carry it.
And for me and anyone else forgetting the goodness of the Lord...
Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:27-31
